BP, Spike Lee, Conspiracy, and Oil in the Sea.

I saw Spike Lee on CNN today.
He rambled on about how the government
and the oil companies were in cahoots.

Then when the reporter asked him about
Obama’s reaction, he defended the President
saying that it is just his way.

Here’s your boarding pass for the clue train,
the President is part of the government,
so if the government is in bed with big oil,
then it would stand to reason that the head
of said government would be as well,
even if he is a black man.
You don’t get it both ways Spike.
If you say government is in on conspiracy
with big oil, it’s not just the white people in
government.

I have said it many times before,
I like Obama, and I approve of the
job he has done running the country.

We don’t need our President in person
in Louisiana, it doesn’t help to solve the problem.

Spike further continues discussing how
big oil is worshiping at the alter of the
almighty dollar, and then mentions his
movie about the Katrina disaster several
times and suggests that he will be making
a new film about this tragedy.
He is profiting of the suffering of others,
he is no better than the corner store that
charges ten dollars for a bottle of water
after a hurricane.

Slutty, what was that word again?

Hypocrite.

Yeah, that’s the one.

In The Katrina movie,
United States Army Corps of Engineers were blamed
for the poor design and construction of the Leeves,
and the government’s slow response blamed for the
amount of suffering.

Who can we blame?

Why is that always the first question asked?

What does that accomplish?

We know BP fucked up,
I do not see that fact being in dispute.

If only the rest of us were as quick to do our jobs
as the lawyers are to do theirs.

We can punish and blame later,
that should not be the focus now.

We need a solution to the problem.

If someone breaks something,
is it the best idea to also have them fix it?

What, are we trying to teach them a lesson?
More blame, that is all it is, we want them to
suffer.

Still, the problem remains unsolved.

I want my government to respond quickly
and by any means necessary. This should
be the top priority, over Afghanistan,
over Public Health Care, over everything.
I want my tax dollars spent on this problem.

I want NASA and JPL on this problem,
this is an “all hands on deck”.
I want some technology thrown at this,
and quickly.

If you want to blame somebody,
we should blame ourselves for allowing
this situation to even be possible.

My God,
what have we done?

Twilight alien invasion freakball gas station

I spent my day, blowing bubbles, of the phosphate kind, is that right, phosphates? Soap.

I keep thinking of “cousin it”, well sometimes.

dom.getElementsByTagName(‘clouds’)[0].firstChild.nodeValue

I looked her straight in the eye and said,

baby,
that may work on some guys,
but I’m not buying into your
blue snow cone way of thinking,
so take it back to the cricket temple
on some dilapidated ranch out west,
and yes,

I’d like a receipt please.

The bank teller was unsure how to respond to
the sustained syntactic stream that I had
spouted forth and forward at her in particular.

Then,

as her jaws slightly slowly began to part ,
and her mouth formed an overly round shape,
as if trying to delicately catch the needed words
that were trapped in fragile bubbles floating by,

I touched my left index finger to the middle of her
drying lips and shushed her,
effectively
halting any further attempts
by her at forging a reply.

It was then,
and only then,
that I turned and headed towards the door.

WordPress Blog Superstar Leroy Scandal Excluded from The ‘forty bloggers who count’ List.

I have been contacted by hundreds
of reporters and industry insiders,
all of them in disbelief that I had not
been included in the list,

’40 bloggers who really count’ .

Firstly,
let me just say,
It is absolutely inconceivable to
me that anyone would take
seriously something with the title,

’40 bloggers who really count’

.

My seventh grade Language Arts teacher taught me that
numbers should not be used in titles, or writing unless they
are extremely awkward or long to spell out as words.

Forty,
not so long,
and not so awkward to spell.

The damn site has pop up windows on it,
that just screams of class and legitimacy.

Anyway,
I like some of the blogs that they picked,
David Byrne has long been a favorite of mine no
matter what the media, the man is talent personified,
David is a constant fresh perspective.

Slutty says she checked out Gwyneth Paltrow’s blog,
and thought she was cool enough.

Jezebel, is also cool in my book.

One of the picks I strongly disagree with,
and I have said as much many times before,

The Huffington Post is a mental toxin
and should be avoided as if it were a
roving gang of drunken lepers
looking to hook up for a quickie.

I don’t blog for awards,
I blog for the people,
and because sometimes
my friends get tired of listening
to me and I have to speak my
mind to preserve my sanity,
so I assault the public at large
via my blog.

Making a run for the border in the Matrix with extra olives please.

I fell asleep at work today,
and had the craziest dream.

Slutty Poppins and I were at
Taco Bell, we were in a hurry
so I went inside to get our order
“to go”,
because the drive through
is a little to much like being a cattle
led to slaughter for my taste.
I walk up to the counter to place my
order with the barely legal Latina girl.
Immediately my mind starts to wonder
and wander around the thoughts of her
and Slutty naked and and all of the dirty
things I could make them do to each other,
and more importantly to me.

Slutty is down for this sort of thing,
and that is one of the things I love about her.
Part of the fun for Slutty is being forced into
such behavior, and I am okay with that myself.
Suddenly, hot Latina in the too tight polyester pants
does that weird head shaking/stretching transformation
thing into one of those agents from the Matrix and says,

Hello Mr. Scandal, we’ve been expecting you

I jump up in the air,
do a couple back flips,
and kick him in the face
about 90 times.

I look around and all of the customers,
all of the Taco Bell staff are turning into
agents.
I’m trying to figure out what the hell I’m going
to do to get out of this situation.

All of a sudden,
Slutty struts in like a super model wearing
a long black trench coat and dark sunglasses,
her long dark hair blowing in the wind,
I don’t even question where the wind is coming
from inside the store, because she’s looking hot
and I don’t really care so much about the damn
how and why of the wind.
She drops the trench coat to reveal the hot little
black dress she is wearing underneath, and
the two MAC 11s she brought in with her.
She starts mowing down customers turned agents
and I assault the staff turned agents.
I have no gun though, and I am using a spatula
as my weapon of choice to decapitate the agents.
I finish off the mutated staff, and start over to help
Slutty with her bad guys when she yells out to me,

Leroy! Don’t forget our order, I’m really hungry!

I head back to the kitchen to grab the food,
and before I can ask, Slutty says,

I like my olives in the burrito,
not on the side.

Who eats olives on burritos?

I would bring this up,
but she’s looking really hot,
and she’s got the guns,
so I just go with it.

I’m cool with perpetuating the white male stereotype. Give me some more money please.

I, being classified a white male,
fully support the “white males make
more money, get everything handed to
them, and generally run the world” stereotype.
Get off your high horse Ms. Equality,
if your team was out in front you’d want
to maintain the lead too.

The White Male Majority.

Simple math proves that statement incorrect.

Males are not the majority gender,
and Caucasian is not the majority race.

I’m not saying life is fair,
what I am saying is quit
pointing your fingers outward,
the problem is not our doing,
well some of it is our doing,
but it is at least partly your own.

If we have been running hog wild and
exploiting everyone else for centuries,
and yet are not the majority, why didn’t
the majorities out there ever stop us?

I have no idea where that came from actually,
I’m not currently having any issues. It was not,
is not, and shall not be a rant, merely questions
and observations.

BP,
man oh man have they fucked themselves.
Forget the gazillion dollars in cleanup costs,
look at all that fucking oil they are losing too.
This cannot be good for gas prices.

Obama is like,

“What in the flying fuck are you motherfuckers
doing down there? Y’all are a bunch of fucking morons.”

he didn’t say that,
but I get the feeling he can free flow the expletives
when properly motivated.
I like that, you can get a pulse off the man,
he’s alive, and he has reactions, just like me,
and just like you.

I fucking love Joe Biden.

I like Obama snapping on folks that deserve it,
I like the ‘human’ vibe he puts off.

I did not vote for Obama,
but I approve of the job he has done so far,
I like his decisiveness, even when I don’t agree
with his views.

Am I contributing to the White Male demise?

No, because there is no conspiracy,
we don’t have a secret agenda,
nor do we have a strategy.

The picture you see so clearly,
is tinted. Tinted by the resin
of rationalization, self re-imaging,
a protrusion of delusion,
because it is always easier to
place blame on the shoulders of others,
rather than ourselves.

If it’s my fault, our fault,
then it cannot be yours,
the inverse is also true.

juxtapose,
what a cool fucking word.

I like my cell phone, and I use it for more besides making phone calls dot dot dot

A girl told me that she once had sex with her phone,
and yes, she did use a condom.
I guess that’s “phone sex” redefined.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate “lol”?

Back to my point.

For a while,
I was installing applications like mad on my phone,
until I realized, I don’t use most of them.

Now I have begun to explore the applications
that come with my phone, my favorite is the
note taking application.
I often have small bursts of enlightenment,
or inspiration throughout the day.
Wow, I had no idea throughout was one word, cool.

I was reviewing some of the notes that I have made,
some of them I don’t remember writing.

• Why do people say “piping hot”?
  That really doesn’t make sense.
• I just burped, and it smelled like cardboard,
  which is odd as I don’t remember eating any.
• Didn’t people used to say “slug bug” and
  not “punch dub” when they saw a Volkswagen
  and punched you?
• That chick on the news has great boobs

I’ve got a lot more, but I type all day and I’m tired.

The ironic dicotomy grows

My inner demons are constantly debating,
and I find myself swayed by one view, then
another. Wash, rinse, and repeat. Logic and
it’s polar opposite are applied liberally to
the infected topic, and seldom used as directed.
Meaning I sometimes find my feelings about topic
change drastically as I learn more or unlearn
and replace knowledge. The older I get, the
thing I know with absolute certainty, is that
there is no black, there is no white, it’s all
gray, or grey. I can’t ever remember
which gr[ae]y to use.

Conjunction junction, what’s your function?
Hooking up words and phrases and clauses.

See? That worked, I have not seen that School
House Rock episode in thirty years. Repetition,
ridiculously simple, and tremendously effective.

You play like you practice.

I`m sorry, I really am, but that girl doesn’t blog and I don`t believe in mixed marriages

I discriminate against people who
don’t blog. I look down on them,
I consider them a lesser species.
I don’t trust the non-blogging,
think about it, we don’t those
people. We don’t know how they
were raised, their opinion on
microwave popcorn, or their
political views. We don’t know what
they like, what they don’t like,
or even what makes them smile.
I don’t want those people in my
house. I don’t want non-bloggers
as coworkers. I don’t want the
children of non-bloggers going
to school with my kids, well my
kids if I had kids.

My life is currently a ketchup commercial, wait before you jump to conclusions, let me explain.

Remember the anticipation commercial from
back in the late seventies or so?
The ketchup was so thick that it seemed
to take forever to pour out of the bottle.
Anticipation is the mother of anxiety,
I believe. So many nuggets of wisdom
address this issue.
Such as,
“The waiting is the hardest part”
Damn, that always makes me think
of Tom Petty.
Tom Petty, now that is one cool cat.
Even if you don’t care for his music,
dude is cool, he has always had his
own stride.
When I think of Tom Petty,
I always remember that Alice in Wonderland
inspired video he made, which I really enjoyed.
This reminds me of when MTV first came out,
Martha Quinn, damn I wanted to bang her,
and I’m not really sure why.
What was the first video MTV played?
“Video Killed The Radio Star”,
by the Buggles.
My tangent has become a one to two relationship,
one of the downfalls of writing in the linear fashion
that is the norm, you cannot simultaneously
develop two ideas in parallel.
After spending so many years writing code
for clusters and other situations that required
this type of concurrency, the inability to effectively
achieve this when writing has begun to
appear to me to be a major design flaw.
So now, I am forced to apply a work around,
a kludge so to speak to introduce the idea
that fit so well as a thread off the Tom Petty
Video.
My favorite programming language has always
been Smalltalk. It’s popularity, is not so popular,
but the design is pure. You may not realize it,
but the way you use a computer,
the graphical user interface and
the mouse both came directly from Smalltalk.

People who use Smalltalk describe the difference
in how they look at ideas and problems after
learning and embracing the methodology
and philosophy. When I began to learn Smalltalk,
I was told over and over to read
Through the Looking Glass
by Lewis Carroll.
More Alice and her Wonderland.
It seemed utterly ridiculous to me,
until the pieces of this puzzle of seemingly
blobs of green began to take shape, and
become a forest of trees with leaves.
I keep a copy handy with the other
books that I treasure.
The Art of War
by Sun Tzu,
Advanced Programming in The UNIX Environment
by Richard Stevens,
and
The C Programming Language
written by my heroes Dennis Ritchie and Brian Kernighan.

Again the failings of linear writing have become obvious,
so I will have to break the flow and swim upstream
to return from whence I came.
Alice In Wonderland, the movie.
Is it just me, or is Tim Burton a one trick pony?
All of his movies have the same look and feel.
I much prefer Tom Petty’s interpretation.

Anticipation, wasn’t that the original topic?
Why yes, and that is why I mention it now.

I had also had an interview two Friday’s ago,
and was offered the job. I did not accept the job,
for a variety of reasons. The money was good,
but not quite what I felt I should be paid. I was
left feeling unsure about the whole situation.
I wondered if I had handled it poorly and
maybe even foolishly.
I was asked to go on another interview last Friday,
I was excited about the job, as well as the pay.
I endeavored to stay cool, and not be overly anxious.
I was interviewed by two guys, and they were kind
of hard to read. I thought I had done well, and hoped
they shared that opinion.
There was no call immediately following this interview
to offer me the job. I reassured myself that it was
perfectly reasonable. The weekend of waiting was
long. I felt every minute, it was slow.
I thought maybe I would wake up this morning,
with an email containing an offer.
I received not one email during the night.
The anticipation I had been feeling was doing it’s
best to give birth to anxiety throughout the day.
I fought off the demon thoughts that assaulted my mind,
I was not going to let myself fall prey to their attacks
of panic.
The hands of my clock, the hands of all my clocks
had now completely stopped, as if time itself had
become frozen.
I busied myself with an endless array of time wasting projects,
anything to keep my mind from creating endless permutations
of possibilities, or a plague of “what if” scenarios.
Finally,
my phone rang.
I was told the interview went very well,
and the gentlemen who had spoken to
me had given the green light hire me,
all that was needed now was just a final
stamp of approval from the man that
ultimately decides such things.
I am told it is merely a formality,
and that I should hear an answer
this evening, or maybe tomorrow.

So once again,
I am holding the bottle of ketchup
and singing along with Carly Simon.

My friend stop by yesterday in a brand new Lexus.

I was surprised to say the least. I have known him since
2001, and he has driven the same car since.
He is not one to spend money unless absolutely necessary.
So he drove up unexpectedly in a brand new Lexus,
the visit was also unexpected.
Wait, that is not entirely true.
I have few firm rules, but one rule that I maintain,
as I have regretted each and every time I have not,
is that I expect a phone call before you stop by.
If you cannot be bothered to extend me that small
courtesy, I cannot be bothered to open the door.
My friend is aware of my policy, so he phoned
as he was turning onto my street to let me know
he would be arriving in the next thirty seconds or so.
When he arrived, he told me he cannot stay long,
as he was doing many important things that day,
but he wanted to know if I had some “extra money”,
he needed some gas.
Come to find out, the car was not his, and the owner
called less than one minute after his arrival at my house
to ask him what was taking so long.

Many people would seek an explanation,
I don’t concern myself with such delusions.
If he had wanted to explain, he would have.
Since he didn’t offer to fill me in,
if I had inquired, it would probably a crafted,
or spun, or cherry picked version of what
actually happened, leaving me thinking
I knew the truth, but really did not.
There I would exist, thinking I understood
perfectly well that the world was indeed flat.

Good Citizens, please do not assume this day,
this situation is an isolated incident, that it is
more than two standard deviations from the mean,
the foretold events are the norm, and I will strive
to provide more examples in the not to distant,
and/or the distant to extremely distant future.
It really depends on the barometric pressure,
most of my decisions and actions can be
explained and prognosticated by changes
in the barometric pressure.

My head is so clear you’re going to think I sprayed my thoughts with Windex. Slow I said slow.

My cosmic enlightenment continues.
I am like a bring a covered dish full of
insight picnic held by The Buddha,
with

John Madden,

Mohammad Ali,

Lewis Grizzard,

on the guest list.

The theme of the party:

Keep it simple,
but do it with style.

Notice not one Greek on the guest list?
I still maintain my theorem that they
caused ten times the problems they solved.
They founded the bastardization and mutation
of thought for sport. They made over complexity
fashionable and that is why Medusa turned all of
them to stone,

to shut them up.

Posthumously.

My friend Ryan and I spent a week trying
to remember that word, I felt that I should
use it at least once.

Think low speed chase. ( foreshadowing )
Slow down people.
Robert Davis jr. Showed us the way,
but for those of you needed further
explanation and clarification.
Slow and steady baby. Turtle.

Your perception of speed is inaccurate.
Your forward progress is diluted by the
erratic sideways motion.

It is an illusion,
Your senses have failed you.

Slow and deliberate.

Don’t believe me?

Let me tell you about your blood bamboo kid,
it ain’t Coca Cola.

10
2
4

Get it?
No it’s not Sudoku,
it’s the best times to drink Dr. Pepper.

My Uncle Garry worked for Dr. Pepper,
Now Dr. Dre does, and he says slow it down.
If you’re going to argue with
Robert Davis Jr., me, and Dre,
Then Jack White will tell you he is amazed
to see Rita Hayworth in a place so seedy.

Take take take.
That’s my suggestion.

I am leading by example,
but none of us will make you drink.

Liquid

Water.

I am water.
Water in new ways.
I am flowing,
I am etching the knowledge into your mind.
Polishing the surfaces, wearing down the
jagged edges.

Liquid, solid, gas.

No. There are more.

Most importantly, plasma.

Plasma is actually the most abundant state of matter in the universe, because it is the state that exists inside stars that are undergoing nuclear fusion. Ball lightning is an example of plasma that manifests on the Earth.

Reality is a dream.